Notes to Young Rebels

(or: What They Turned Love Into)

We were not supposed to meet this way.

Love was never meant to be a catalog.
Or a marketplace.
Or a deck of human faces to swipe left or right while waiting for the subway.

But that is what it has become.

We turned the most fragile human experience into an interface.

Swipe.
Match.
Chat.
Ghost.
Repeat.

And somehow we call this “freedom.”

⸻

Here is the lie no one wants to admit:

Dating apps did not make love easier.
They made people disposable.

When you know there are a thousand faces behind the next swipe,
no one feels rare anymore.

So we start treating people like:
• replaceable
• upgradeable
• temporary

Not because we are cruel —
but because the system teaches us to be.

⸻

In the past, falling in love was terrifying because it meant losing options.

Today it is terrifying because it means closing tabs.

And closing tabs feels like missing out.

So we don’t commit.
We browse.

We don’t fall.
We keep one foot out.

We don’t choose.
We keep comparing.

And then we wonder why everything feels shallow.

⸻

Social media made it worse.

Now we are not just dating people —
we are dating their highlight reels.

We compare:
• their exes
• their lifestyle
• their looks
• their followers
• their desirability

And suddenly love is no longer about connection.

It is about:

“Am I winning?”

⸻

The tragedy is this:

You were not built to love thousands of people.
You were built to love one deeply, imperfectly, slowly.

But apps train you to be:
• overstimulated
• emotionally numb
• afraid of missing out

So when someone actually shows up —
flawed, human, present —
they feel boring.

Not because they are.
But because endless dopamine hits trained your nervous system to crave novelty over depth.

⸻

Love is not meant to be optimized.

It is meant to be risked.

It is meant to be awkward.
And vulnerable.
And uncertain.

You are supposed to not know.
You are supposed to care.
You are supposed to be hurt sometimes.

That is not failure.

That is attachment.

⸻

The most radical thing you can do in this culture is not swipe.

It is:
• to choose
• to stay
• to be seen
• to see someone back

Not because they are perfect.
But because they are there.

⸻

Love is not a feed.
It does not refresh.

It is a fire.

And every time you swipe, you step a little farther away from it.

— L.P.